On "Memorial" Day

Gratitude on this Memorial Day for a heritage of FAMILY!
The word "Memorial" is defined in the free Merriam-Webster dictionary as "serving to preserve remembrance" .
I am aware that the original intent and purpose of Memorial Day was and is to honor those who have died in the service of our country. I am even aware that there has been an effort to reinstate this focus by returning the date to it's original May 30, instead of the current , last Monday in May, to prevent further dilution of it's meaning. However, in a large family, that miraculously has been almost entirely kept out of military service, ( not from lack of willingness, or patriotism, but by unusual exemptions not for this entry), with the exception of one uncle who served in Viet Nam, and a great Uncle who served as a Paratrooper in WWII, I want to share my gratitude for a great heritage of faithfulness that has been exceptional, not for giving lives for a country, but for giving lives to raising contributing citizens. In this arena, our families have MANY worth honoring, both past and present.
As a child, our families honored these kind of family members (and what a travesty it would have been, had our parents and grandparents missed the opportunity this holiday of "remembering" provides, of connecting family heritage, and traditions of perseverance, loyalty and commitment, simply because none of our deceased loved ones had been soldiers), by traveling long distances to visit cemeteries throughout northeast Idaho, decorate the graves with lilacs, take photos of the graves, clean them and then gather for picnics afterward.
In the years we have been raising our own five children, living states away from any graves of known relations, we have still taken our children each year to cemeteries, where we "remember". We meander around the peaceful settings, some tiny and hidden, others large and celebrated by traditions of Memorial celebrations. We find those who died in wars, find the tiny markers for babies and imagine the loss to heartbroken parents, or note the family spots where numerous members of one family are combined together. We put flowers on those that seem to be forgotten and have taught our children respect, not only for the dead by not walking on the headstones, but also to consider the circumstances of their lives by considering what the towns, or world was like in the long ago years they were on it. I do not think it is primarily our government or schools who should remind our youth to "preserve in remembrance", the purpose of this day, but parents. And if, in their teaching, they also include gratitude and remembrance for loved ones that enabled a family to be and have the prosperity and blessings enjoyed now, then bravo!
Our country needs MORE grateful remembering of many kinds, not limited only to military sacrifices, however grand those may be and are.... which leads me to grateful, acknowledging and "remembering" of those still living, who bless and enrich my life.
I know it's not been popular to have more than a child or two for a really long time but I want to share just SOME OF the benefits missed out on by those who have only one sibling, or none, and no aunts, uncles, or cousins.
And believe me they are missing A LOT!
Recently I left home early to drive 5 hours to meet 3 of my 6 sisters for lunch. What a blast. They are educated, talented, but more importantly kind, wise and compassionate women, and also funny. (I won't go into detail here, but we had a dead car battery experience right in front of the Boise 'Kneaders' restaurant that involved laughing and prayers, and ended quickly and well due to blessings of preparedness, action by a good husband in advance, a sister learning how to use the equipment provided, and cooperation.). They are also wives to loyal, hard working men, and mothers to between us, nineteen children. (Wait till I add in my other siblings children!:))
The next day I drove a few more hours and visited with a fourth sister and her wonderful family of three children. It was so comforting to me to hear the interested questions Thom asked his children at the dinner table after his own long day at work and school. There are wonderful families in this world still and I get to live amongst many and get to be related to a whole bunch more! Lucky me!
In the evening, I drove 90 minutes to visit my parents. The purpose of my trip was to take my Mother, who serves so constantly to a myriad of others, to Women's Conference for her first time. One of my four daughters was able to join us (my Dad came too but that's another story, and turned out to be a great addition to the family memory). A day later, we were all happily staying with and visiting with my youngest sister in Utah and her busy family of four plus a nephew loved as a son.
In between uplifting classes, we all met for laughing and talking over beautiful lunches above the campus art museum, or in the fifties style old Creamery for burgers and ice cream! While we talked and ate, I shared a children's book that another sister had read to me a few months ago. How rich and interesting my life is because of these women whom I see far too rarely, but who fill my life with support, mentorship and encouragement.
Several have housed our young adult children while they did summer jobs, interviewed or came to conferences, provided tips on work, given great advice, and been terrific mentors on happy, successful family life. Spread all across this grand country, in addition to our children's four siblings each, are 57 cousins, 24 aunts and uncles and 4 grandparents, not counting a significant number of second cousins and great aunts and uncles that know and love and care about our family as well. My mothers frequent statement from my youth, "the greatest gift your Dad and I gave you is siblings", is given another level of merit and credence. In a society, where " who you know", is often more important for opening opportunities than "what you know", one would think providing more "relations" would be the "IN" thing, not the reverse!
We know people in nearly every quadrant of the country, and a huge variety of professions and fields, from self employed business men to doctors, dentists, teachers, engineers, and a number of accountants, CPA's, as well as others. There is a measure of security in knowing that nearly everywhere I go, there is within reasonable reach "family". It is a joy to think back on the times however brief when a sibling has lived with us, as we helped them find summer work, and learn to drive a clutch, or brought their family for an overnight as they passed through. We have loved having a niece or nephew for the summer while they worked to save college money, took drivers training or simply stopped by for a place to stay while visiting friends, or just passing through on their way somewhere else. These infrequent visits are tiny threads, knotted tighter by being repeated, that knit a family largely separated by age and distance, together over time. How blessed it is to have a "quiver full" of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles!
Thank you, thank you dear Mom and Dad for giving me so many, and to my eight remarkable siblings, and Jeff''s four equally fabulous, thank you for raising such great cousins for our five kids. Even now, as all our children are young adults, we have heard of Nikelle being contacted by a cousin and his wife for a lunch date, and others went on a brief overnight Memorial Day campout with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a Bird nephew stopped by here overnight on his way to a work convention. How dull and boring life would be without FAMILY TIES!
Yes, I patriotically, and lovingly salute those who died in service to my country full heartedly. But the reason I do, is because I understand their motivation was to allow and protect the continuation of generations to live happily, hopefully peacefully and war free in the future. Our family has certainly been the beneficiary of their sacrifice and I remember them and my family, living and dead, whether or not that life was sacrificed for their country or simply to raise more countrymen!
God Bless America!