Blessing or Blight?

When Blessings Look Like Trials

Our family has always tried to spend at least one evening together as a family, teaching, talking and having fun together.  Monday’s are specifically set aside with no meetings, or interruptions of any kind, scheduled for that night.  Now our married children with their tiny little ones are already  following the same pattern in their families.  It is for that reason that tonight immediately after our son returned home from his work as a resident in his last affiliation as a student physical therapist, and dinner was over, their four little girls all fed, that I joined him, his wife and family for their weekly “family night”.

While doing dinner Meredith, my delightful and dear daughter-in-law, and I had discussed what we could do.  They usually plan something ideal themselves, but I had just purchased a wonderful book called The Holy Week for Latter-day Saint Families by Wendee Wilcox Rosborough, that provides so many ideas for making the days and weeks prior to Easter, meaningful with myriad Christ centered activities, art work, scriptures, films, crafts and recipes. and shared it with Meredith and we were excited to begin making the ideas traditions. Meredith looked through it and decided that on this beautiful blue sky (but breezy and thus chilly) March day, it would be fun to focus on the “Cleansing of the temple day”, by taking the family to walk the  Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints temple grounds, just 15 minutes away.    We could sing primary songs about the the temple, talk about how special the building is, built and dedicated not only as a special building of worship and spiritual education but also as place, wherein the spirit of our Savior Jesus Christ may dwell.  As we have spent the last two weeks potty training the oldest two girls, ages 34 months, and 24 months, we’ve also had LOTS of discussions about our wonderful bodies, so, we could also discuss that our bodies are a temple.  We are meant to care for them, keep them clean and discipline ourselves to do what is good for them.

It turned out to be a sweet Spring evening with the trees just beginning to blossom to life again,  and we enjoyed the meticulous quiet grounds, having them all to ourselves except for some maintenance workers doing repairs and maintenance during the 3 weeks the temple is closed for such work.  We also took pictures of the family and talked about how we can care for our bodies the way the workers were caring for the temple.  We pointed out the sunlight coming through the patterns of the beautiful stained glass windows and of course the the angel Moroni on the top spire, trumpeting to the world that Christ’s gospel is restored, God again speaks to and through his prophet on the earth and Christ will yet return in glory.

It was a short, sweet Family night and then we headed home in their old blessed minivan.  The vehicle was a gift from family members last fall, who were blessed themselves after an accident to upgrade, and were inspired to see how much Layton and Meredith needed it with twins coming and two other tiny girls still in car seats.  It’s got a zillion miles on it (over 240,000) but it has been such a gift during these last 6 + months.  We had only gotten a few blocks from the temple when Layton suddenly said, ‘I just lost the power steering on the van!”  It was roughly a mile later, the battery light turned on, and then a high coolant temperature light.  We nervously drove slowly to a turn off where we could be safely of the main road.

We made a few phones calls, one to consult with Jeff, my husband traveling in Arizona for business this week, another to the road side assistance for a tow, and another few calls to friends from church with large enough cars to accommodate 4 car seats and 2 extra adults to get us home before the kids had a meltdown.

Seriously, we felt so grateful as we sat cozy in the van as the sun began to set for how we had been watched over.  They’ve never “left home” for a family night activity in the 4 months they’ve been with us.  But if we hadn’t gone tonight, Meredith would have gone tomorrow morning to run errands and do some grocery shopping  and this (we think its a broken serpentine belt) would have likely happened while she was out, with the kids, not having either Layton or  I with her to help, during a busier time of day and likely in a much less convenient place to stop.  Plus with the power steering out, it may have been that she simply could not control or steer it as it was difficult even for Layton .  Additionally, the kids had been fed right before we left,  we had snacks and almost everything we needed to get through an emergency.  Layton even took time to go through his emergency kit in the back and consider what he had and what he’d like to add... (we figured just some bottles and a small box of formula for the babies, and extra clothes for the girls now that they are potty training would be good to have).  But otherwise, they were already quite well prepared.

Additionally, we were glad to have our cell phones on us, (my battery was dangerously low), and to be able to reach Jeff, as well as Scott W____, father of 9, who was free to come and get us and load us up and get us home while Layton waited for the tow truck and got us home.  Eventually in fact, all the people we had called and left messages with, called us back and would have come to our rescue had we needed.  That was a great comfort!

Mostly however, I was so grateful that this had not happened when Meredith was alone or alone with the children.  It is a blessing I too have experienced multiple time and consider to be a true tender mercy to mothers with many young children, finances stretched thin, and transportation old, less than ideal, and family far away.  Additionally, I felt gratitude that we were not in an accident, but had this happen instead... I sensed that this could possibly be a great protection and blessing in that there was an unusual occasional revving of the engine, as we drove to the temple that evening, that Layton described as feeling as if the engine was fighting against the brakes.  This taking the van “off line”, may in fact have protected this busy little family from themselves until they can have something far more serious addressed in the process.

Layton is so busy with studying for his certification exams next month, finishing the long hours in his final affiliation, and then helping with four girls and a tired momma so very happy to see him each evening.  This is certainly the last thing they need, but still... it may be the VERY protection and blessing we ask for each day when we pray for safety and protection to be with our children, and loved ones, wherever they may be.

We sense that this gift of a vehicle may be quite temporary, yet it has filled an immediate need well, while they were finishing school and facing the imminent crisis of the birth of the twins, and hope if that is so, that the next needful replacement will make itself known to us at the right time and way.  In the meantime, we feel that we are blessed by the generous and miraculously timely way it came to them.  It is blessed by the consecration, sacrifice and love of the givers.  And we feel the blessing in it, even in the midst of the trial.

I know this is a true principle, that blessings and answered prayers, often come to us in the form of something that at first appears to be an affliction or hardship, even a disaster.  I’ve had it happen myself.  I even recently read an example in a podcast by Gretchen Rubin, “Sometimes we have to get fired, to be hired”, (https://gretchenrubin.com/podcast-episode/little-happier-fired-hired) and also of “lucky” breaks that sometimes seem to happen in survival situations only after something potentially hazardous happened first.

But still... in the midst of the hassle and headache of difficulty, how often have I missed answered prayers and blessings provided, because the answer  looks like an inconvenient catastrophe?  I fear it is far more often than I’d care to know.

May I have eyes to see the disguised blessings, even the hand of God in the details of my life, more often, and more quickly.