What’s In A Name

What’s in a name?                                                                             (Written January 2018)
Later today in our church, our son will bless and officially name his two twin daughters, while his other small daughters sit with their Mom, their grandma JuJu, and me in the congregation. I am not certain but I have doubts that Layton, Papa Matt, or Bodhi (Jeff), ever imagined much the naming of future children. I think it is largely a “girl” thing. For years however, like my youthful self, I heard and examined the lists of “baby names” our four girls would collect, and revise, long before they were even married. It’s one of the great joys of motherhood, helping to choose a title, a name that will identify a person for all of their life on earth, all throughout their lives.

Going through journals from the first years of my life as a new wife, but not yet a mother, I found a handwritten list of “baby” names my youthful self was considering and possible combinations for first and middle names. It is fun to look and and compare with what we actually used. How glad I am I didn’t use some names! But when I showed the list to our son he said he actually wished we HAD chosen James as his middle name! 🙂😉Still, choosing names for our children was a real challenge for Jeff and I back then. With Jeffery being the tail end of his family, and with most of the other 27 of his Bird nieces and nephews already born and named before we married, we had a somewhat limited selection of names to consider. In contrast to our common names of “ Jeff and Becky” (there were FIVE Becky’s in my graduating class), we wanted to choose names that could be unique and beloved, without being “weird”. It proved no easy feat.
In the end our children became Nikelle, (pronounced “Nick-Elle”), no middle name, Tiahna (Tee-AH-nah) ReLin, Layton Craig, the middle name after Jeff’s eldest brother, Whitney Loryn, the most common of our names, and Kaloni (Ka-LON-ee) May. I love these names (AND the recipients!) and only in later years did any of them find others of similar names.

In recent years as Jeff and I considered, and explored the names we wanted to be called by our grandchildren, we were reminded anew that choosing a name is, a huge responsibility.

Names carry impressions, and sometimes meanings. They in large part, define, influence and shape us, sometimes more than we ever realize. With that in mind, for years I explored titles from other cultures, and languages, and even made up names. I really could not settle on anything that felt right; a name I could imagine “feeling like me” for years to come. I searched other cultures and languages. I “tried on names” like others try on shoes to see how comfortable they were right off, discarding name after name as silly, ridiculous, awful, or plain uncomfortable. A few names I thought might become more comfortable over time. But even those tiny few, never felt completely right.

I liked the French, Mimi, but my French Canadian Sister-in-law used it comfortably and I felt like an imposter or that I was plagiarizing her name whenever I tried to use it. Eventually I thought I’d just use the made-up name/title of ‘Gigi’, but that too, felt false and harsh.
At last, years in to my search, I came across the name Amia with its meaning (beloved). I KNEW instantly it was right. Like Cinderella and her glass slipper that fit only her, I knew this name was for me. It is short, soft, AND had a meaning I could aspire to. Jeff then searched for a meaningful name and found Bodhi, (wise and enlightened). They are unusual, especially for grandparent titles, and we are frequently asked about them. But they suit us so well and I have no doubt that the names will be imitated, in and OUT of our family in the generations to come. They are short names, easy to shorten and say for a child and even the short names are sweet. All the children call Jeff, “Bo”, And I am “Mia” to all but Emma who has always called me “AH-mee”. I love to hear my name in their sweet and individual voices. The name feels so natural like a comfortable sweater. It is my new name for a new role and phase of life. It is MINE. And it is also a reminder of what it means and to live so that my Grandchildren who call me that name can come to feel that I truly am “beloved” Amia to them.

Last Monday, on New Years Day, our newest granddaughter, tiny, miss Penny Louise Udall was named for this mortal phase of her life, and blessed at home, by her daddy Kyle, uncle Kelly Conrad, and a counselor in the bishopric in their ward in Mesa Arizona. It was a beautiful blessing in which she was reminded that her middle name is after her Great Grandmother Linda Louise Browning who is an angel on earth who lives with kindness and grace, and she will do well to pattern her life after her. It reminded me of the blessing of Nephi and Lehi in the Book of Mormon, meant to remind them of their great and faithful ancestors.

I have many names; my given name at birth is Becky ReLin Browning. ReLin is a combination of my parents names, Rex, and Linda. I have always loved that name. We passed it on to our own daughter Tiahna as her middle name and she too takes pleasure in its significance, sharing the name with me and its reminder of her very good grandparents.

At the age of eight, I took upon myself the name of Christ, and promise anew each week to always remember him.

When I married I took my husbands last name as my own. I left my home and identity as a Browning to become a Bird and bring to that family culture all the good that I could try to add from my own heritage, while being made new in taking on the reputations and traditions of a new family.

And just over three years ago, with the birth of little Lyly May Conrad, I began to be known by the name Amia. I have been blessed with names of goodness, and reputation and I hope to add to them, my own small chain of strength, and progress and becoming. I desire to live up to every good and righteous hope those who bestowed a name upon me desired for me... including myself.

In the end though , it is the life lived that gives the most meaning to a name. Names such as Ghandi, Mother Theresa, or Adolf Hitler, are made pleasing or repulsive by what we know about them. We all know names we cannot like, because of those we once knew who shared the name.

Three years into the process of Grand-parenting, with beautiful babies seeming to drop like ripe fruit from the sky, (we already have 11!) to our young married children, Jeff and I smile and rejoice as we overhear the discussions of names for consideration for each baby. We now have a lovely selection of sweet and unusual names being added to our family tree; popular and common names such as Emma, and Abigail, to the rare and unusual Thoreau, and Hampton, and whimsical Willow and Olive and Penny, we also have Jane and Annabelle, Lyla and Miles. One family has chosen all flower names as the middle names, making a beautiful bouquet for a family of girls. Others have chosen family names to honor grandparents or fathers, and others still, names that give distinction and refinement. All are chosen with love and care and purpose. Each beautiful child is named with the hope that this name will, by the choices made and the life lived, become known to those around him or her, as a good, wise, benevolent, blessing to mankind.

So much hope and promise wrapped up in the selection of a name.  Now 50+ years in, what have I lived into my name? What will I add to it in the years ahead? What will you add to yours?